Sunday, 27 November 2011

Awkward moments and other embarrassing things...

I'm the kind of person who regularly experiences awkward moments and embarrassing situations. I suppose many of us are. I have no doubt that becoming a parent increases the regularity of these occasions..

Children are so honest, aren't they? As we grow up, we (generally!) learn to be polite and to save peoples feelings. Children, they just tell it as it is. Take, for example, a recent visit to a friends house. We'd popped in for a quick visit so she and I could have a natter and Ethan and her little boy could play (I mean wrestle, throw toys and force feed each other apple slices). My friend took us into her son's bedroom as they'd recently finished decorating and all of his toys were now stored in there. As we walked in, Ethan looked around and said "Lovely! Lovely room. Very nice! Nice door, nice sofa". Awww, I was so proud! My friend was suitably chuffed. It was indeed very lovely. I was very proud at Ethan being a) adorable and b) applying his language so well!

So, the boys had a play in there and we had a good chatter... it was all going so well. Until they wanted a snack of sliced apple. Off we all trooped to the kitchen.. This is where it all went a bit wrong. We get there and Ethan takes a good look around and then goes right up to my friend and says (very loudly) "Messy! Very messy kitchen!". Ugh.. So embarrassing!!! It's my fault really. Her kitchen is nothing more than a normal kitchen for someone who's been at home with an extremely active toddler all day. The trouble is that Ethan lives with me, OCD Tidy Freak Mum. I apologised for his honestly, explained that he was going through a "very honest phase". What else can you do? She didn't mind thankfully!!! This is a child who walked into our kitchen the other day as I was washing up and saw a peice of cheese on the breadboard that was hardly visible, picked it up and said "ugh, yuck! Dirty!" and put it in the bin. Save me now...

Still, though Ethan may be a little too honest at times (really, I'm sure my fellow shoppers in Tesco do not need to know that "Mummy's pee-pee is hairy!" or that "I have a purple dinkle!") I feel that he is at least learning how to behave and what is right and wrong. He is a toddler and is allowed to make mistakes... I'm not sure the same could be said for some of the strange things we see adults in our town doing out and about in public!

Take for example this recent lovely experience! Ethan and I were on our way back from the leisure centre. This walk takes us along one of the main roads in Clevedon (and it is a very big main road with a lot of traffic and pedestrians - in other words it is very well used!). As I was pushing the buggy we were overtaken by a middle-aged lady dressed in fluorescent pink (so highly visible!!) who was jogging. Nothing outrageous there. Until she stopped a little way in front of us... At first I could not believe my eyes. She had stopped and what was that I could see? Surely not?! I had to blink a few times (wearing contact lenses, needed to make sure my vision wasn't blurring!). No, I wasn't seeing things. IT WAS HER ASS!!! She had stopped on the grass verge, had pulled down her trousers and knickers and was taking (I hope!) a wee in public. Broad daylight. Midday. Not in the depth of the night on the way home from a pub hidden from view. She was 100% visible. I only hope it was a wee and not a poo... God knows I didn't look close enough to check for brown lumps. All I know is I got a bloody good look at her butt (not that I wanted to!). The bit that totally astounded me was that whilst we were passing I noticed her checking her sports watch, presumably checking her running times WHILST HER PANTS AND TROUSERS WERE STILL DOWN AROUND HER ANKLES!! I just couldn't believe it! Am I a prude? Is it now totally acceptable for a lady to pee in public? I know it's just a bum and a fanny, but all joking aside, it's just not appropriate is it?

I do realise there could be some mental illnesses that might lead someone to do this, or not to realise that this was not appropriate but this lady looked like she was in control of herself to me... Who knows I suppose!! Perhaps she is an exhibitionist?! She was literally 30 seconds from a pub which at midday would have been open and which I know has loos. She was also about 2 mins (running time) from a supermarket which also has loos.

I really truly could not believe I'd seen it! What do you think? Perhaps after the Paula Radcliffe wee-ing during a marathon thing it's now normal practice? I highly doubt this lady was on a solo marathon though.. and I still think she could have dashed into the pub or at least the underpass which was also right next to her!!

Sunday Snapshot - a walk at the lakegrounds



Man gives birth to toddler!


Wait a minute? That's not a corn-dog!?!


Monday, 21 November 2011

The Great Big Toy debate (xrated!)



The great big toy debate.. do you know to what I refer? It's the wood V plastic debate basically (or taste V tack as I see it quite often!).

I think many mums have this idea when they are pregnant, that they will only have a selected few tasteful wooden toys in their house for their child. The reality is that even before you've given birth people start dumping bits of all singing all dancing VTack on you. What do you mean you don't want a plastic singing bus? How could you not want that in your house? You mean you don't want to trip over it in the night making it sing "let's go to the zoo, la la la la laaaaaaaa" very VERY LOUDLY waking up a dog 10 miles away.. Let alone your baby...

I have been very strict with the amount of plastic tacky toys Ethan has and even we have a few! It's not at all easy. I try not to buy Ethan plasticy stuff if I can avoid it. We've done pretty well. We have the bus I mentioned above and all of his bath toys are plastic (though they are limited to the bathroom ;-D ). He has a lot of my old toys from the 80s which are plastic but I don't mind them so much because they aren't as tacky somehow and they are being re-used (I love the fact he plays with my old toys!).

In my experience, and in the experience of most the parents I know, for a long time, all children are really interested in (apart from their parents attention and love) are cardboard boxes, wooden spoons, saucepans and your car keys.


I honestly don't think children need all the toys the adverts would have you (and them most importantly!) believe. Ethan doesn't have that many toys compared to some and most of them sit there unplayed with most of the time. He loves his cars, his gloworm and drawing. As long as he's got access to them he's happy.

If you want any more evidence that the plastic and singing stuff isn't so great, just look at these two videos! The first depicts a toy given to Ethan by my aunt. She described it as a "tourettes toy". It was given as a joke, obviously, because that's the kind of family we are... The other video shows a song sung by "My Pal Scout" who Ethan was given by his God father. My apologies for the quality of the audio.. but hopefully you can hear the most important bits!


video video

SWEARS!!! OH NOES!!! Hopefully these videos will be taken in the tone they are meant to be taken in, and don't offend any of you!

Obviously I'm being light-hearted about this.. What I'm saying is that if you do want to avoid too much plastic, you can. But it's not easy!

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Sunday Snapshot - Kissy kissy!


Is this the worst kissing shot you've ever seen? I'm pretty sure we both look asleep... it makes me laugh.. it's pretty dreadful. So I'm releasing it into the tinterweb!

Enjoy!


Friday, 18 November 2011

Holidays are coming, holidays are coming!

I'm sorry it's been so quiet in blog land this week. Ethan has had a cold and I've had a vomiting virus... We seem to be on the mend now!

I may be mad.. (don't answer that!) but I have undertaken the decision to make all of my Christmas cards this year. In previous years I have made a few, mainly for my closest friends and family, and used bought ones for everyone else. I'm hoping that this year as I'm starting in reasonably good time, I can make them over a few evenings and then get them out in early December.

What I wanted to do this year was involve Ethan's artwork in the cards. We have pages and pages of Ethan's doodles. I can't bring myself to throw them out, but equally, I can't keep all of them. So, I had the idea of using them in Christmas cards. What I've decided to do is to cut shapes out of the paper he's drawn on and stick those shapes onto cards. I'm using some Christmas cookie cutters to make the shapes! I've gone for a stocking and a Christmas tree... and I made a star stencil myself.

This is what we have so far!


What do you think?

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Troubled waters...

I always think there is no nicer way to end the day spent with your toddler than with a shared bath. For us, it started as a way to encourage skin to skin when Ethan was a few days old. Since then we've never been able to bring ourselves to bath him without one of us (or even both of us!) getting in with him. If we don't, he begs us to anyway. I'm sure there will come a time when he is too mortified at the thought of looking at his parents naked bodies, but in the meantime it is honestly a lovely way to end the day...

...until that moment... you know the moment I mean. I bet there are few children out there who haven't indulged in this guilty pleasure..

Let's just say Ethan and I were sharing a bath this evening, when I suddenly noticed a piece of sweetcorn floating around in the bath. Ethan hadn't eaten corn today. He had the day before. We all know how corn has that cockroach like ability to survive anything.. being eaten and going through your digestive system? Pah! That is nothing! Look! Behold me, floating around in your bathwater! As soon as I uttered the words "Ethan, where did that corn come from?" I knew... as soon as he shifted a little I could see other suspicious looking bits...

BITS OF POO!!!

STINKY YELLOW BROWN SQUISHY POOOOOOOO!

Nothing says clean and fresh than a poo body wash, does it? Why don't Lush stock that? New! Wipe the shit off your face with this... a piece of shit!


Mmmmmmmmm....

Yup. That was a lovely way to end the day.

I'm going to scrub myself with bleach.

Monday, 7 November 2011

Fuzzy Felt!



Anyone remember fuzzy felt? I remember whiling away the hours as a child playing with it. Just the name "Fuzzy Felt" brings back warm fuzzy (haha) feelings of afternoons relaxing at home creating weird and wonderful pictures.

Can you still buy it? I'm not sure.. let me go and have a look... Why! Yes you can. Amazon have it http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fuzzy-Felt-Tub-Things-that/dp/B003U47LRS/ref=sr_1_6?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1320703127&sr=1-6

We got given some recently. I hid it away in the garage, with half a mind to give it to Ethan as a Christmas present. However, he spotted it in it's lame hiding place today and asked what it was and could we play with it. I thought why not. I lost our Kindle today. It fell out of the buggy when we were walking this afternoon.. someone found it and within 10 mins of it being lost they had downloaded themselves a book (Caitlin Moran's "How to be a woman" - good taste, but what A-HOLES...). The reason I'm telling you this (apart from my outrage needing an outlet) is that it was a damp, dark and cold afternoon and I was feeling pissed off and when Ethan found the fuzzy felt, I thought "Yes! Yes, that is just the activity we need!".

And it was!

I was surprised just how much Ethan got into it. We had a mixture of numbers and letters, a background and a load of dinosaur themed bits to play with. I would say it used up a good hour of the afternoon - that difficult part of the afternoon before tea time. Ethan loved it... He enjoyed spotting all the different numbers and making the dinosaurs roar at each other.. and making the trees blow in the wind. And he (sort of) made a picture.

It was good old fashioned fun and I'm honestly looking forward to getting it out again and will happily consider adding to our collection - it doesn't seem to pricey!

Any of you fuzzy felting with your littlies?

Sunday, 6 November 2011

Sunday Snapshot(s) - Bang! Crash! Fireworks!

Ethan loves fireworks. We went to a display last night and he went mental for them... he keeps on talking about them and constantly asking "more fireworks?" Here's a few shots from the night for you... more than one photo for tonight.. just because!

We're in a freakin' teacup!


Bang! Crash!

Family..



Tuesday, 1 November 2011

(belated) Sunday Snapshot!


We have been the house of ill for a few days with a stomach bug. Ick. I won't dwell on it.. but it is never good trying to take care of a toddler when both of you are ill. Thank God for Grandparents.

So, my apologies for the lack of blogging but this is the first time I have felt up to it for a good few days. I'll keep it short and sweet and bring you a late Sunday Snapshot. I just typed Snapshit. I feel that may be more appropriate.

Ethan is not yet the slightest bit ready to be potty trained.. but this photo is proof that he at least knows what a loo is, what it's for and that he can group similar objects together. This is his doing.
Enjoy!