Keeping children entertained on long car journeys

We've just booked a weekend break for the end of February half term and are also thinking about summer holidays, where we want to go etc. We have been parents for over 7 years now and we know all about traveling with children. It's hard work at the best of times, even a short journey can be trying! Ethan, our eldest, suffers from travel sickness, so we have that to contend with as well.. Just as I was thinking about where to go on holiday and how to minimise the stress of journeys I read this post published on the woodentoyshop.com's blog. There are some very useful tips and great game ideas, I love the car bingo! I found it a good read so thought I'd share it over here! No harm and you might just pick up a new idea!

The Last One

Ever since giving birth to Felix I have been plagued by some rather unexpected feelings. You could almost say unwanted feelings! No. Perhaps that's too strong. Surprising maybe.

You might have an inkling about what I'm going to say, especially if you've had more than one child.

I am plagued by a creeping sadness. It comes on at unexpected moments.  It takes me by surprise.  Why sadness? A good question. I feel so much joy in being mother to my boys.  But it is bitter-sweet.  Every day I love them more.  Every day they grow a little more independent.  I am struck with the realization that they won't always rely on me so heavily.  Every day Felix does something new, it feels like the last time.

We don't plan to have more children.  We haven't 100% ruled it out, but 2 is probably it for us.  In fact, having Ethan was such a shocking change of lifestyle for us, it took us over 3 years to feel ready to try again.  However, it has been easier to adjust the second time around, and now, despite knowing how hard it all is, despite never wanting all the horrible parts of pregnancy again, I feel sad.

Each time Felix grows, I give away or sell most of the clothes.  Already he has out grown some toys which have been gifted to friends.

The baby bouncer- gone.  The bumbo- gone.  The baby gym- gone.  The list is endless.

These days are SO precious.  I swear, most days slip through my fingers before I have a chance to think.  To pause.

Tonight, Felix has woken several times already.  Each time I have gone in and held him close.  Breathing him in.  I wish I could bottle his scent.  The most precious memory.  I physically need my boys.  I can't bear the thought that one day I won't be able to hold them like this any more.

I think it's the hardest lesson as a parent. Loving them but knowing you have to let go.

How can a heart feel so full yet breaking at the same time?

 

I'm scared..

I'm scared and I need to talk about it... I know some of you probably don't know how to take my blog so I apologise for that.  I'm sure some of you come along for toddler and mummy fashion inspiration and find that you're wading through a few posts about my anxiety and depression.  The thing is, this is me.  This blog is a representation of me.  I'm honest here.  I don't exaggerate and I don't hide anything.  I love fashion and clothes and dressing Ethan is one of my biggest pleasures in life... But the other overwhelmingly large part if me is anxiety, depression and fear.  I think that's why the title of my blog is so appropriate.
Anyway.. I'm not scared about all that, just sorry if sometimes my blog is a confusing one...

I'm scared to have another baby.  It petrifies me.  I'm waiting for my period at the moment and whilst I'm sure I'm not pregnant it makes me think about the possibility.  And let me tell you.  If I found out I were pregnant today I would not cry tears of happiness.. but I would cry.

I know many people who have and are having a hard time getting pregnant, both in real life and online and I know how hard it is for them to hear me harping on about how I feel about it. So I try to monitor what I say. The thing is whilst I sympathise massively what they go through (and I really do.  I hate to see people going through that and it does give me perspective) it doesn't mean my thoughts and feelings aren't valid.
I can't help it.  Sometimes I think if it were just up to me, I'd stick at one.  My little man.  I adore him.  But I find it all very hard work. 

It's not just me though.  Hubby wants another.  I think Ethan would benefit from a sibling.  And what if we stuck at one and I reverted it when it was too late?  I don't want a 15 year age gap or something like that either.

Ethan will be 3 in July.  At first we were thinking we'd try for another this Sept. but I've already postponed that until next Jan.  I want him in school full time at least until I have another.  Even that scares me though.  In some ways it'd be nice to say ok! Just the one child for us! Now he's in school I can go and get a job and carve out q bit more time for me again.. but no.  It'll be all sleepless nights, constant feeding and bleeding nipples all over again.

I'm so scared it'll be the same or worse.  The PND.  The sleep deprivation.  The anxiety.  Am I strong enough to do that again?  No matter how many times I get told it won't be the same, a little voice tells me it will be.  Or worse.

Seconds after birth... you can see the fear in my eyes....that is not a happy Mama!

Have you ever seen a photo showing love and happiness in the eyes as clearly as this? My Dad with Ethan.

Again, pure love and joy in the eyes.  Mother in law with Ethan.

I know so few people who feel this way.  I can think of two maybe, and they are both online friends.  Apart from my mum and sometimes Hubby I can't really talk to anyone about this.
I'd love to know if I'm not the only one.