38 weeks - birthing pool practice and hormonal meltdowns.

Wow.  I really am getting close to the end of this pregnancy now, aren't I!  It's so bizarre   I remember this feeling from last time, the feeling that your life could change in a matter of hours at any moment.  Each day I wake up and think "will it be today?".  Every time I do something mundane like change the bedsheets or vac the house I think "will this be the last time I do this before the baby comes?".  Saaaaaaad!  Of course, last time I reached 42 weeks so there could still be another 4 weeks or so to go.  But there might not!!  Children.  A huge mass of uncertainty from the moment they are conceived.

This week we had a practice run with the birthing pool.  We didn't fill it due to only having one liner, just got it out of the box and practised inflating it.  We also had a read through of the birthing plan and I discussed a few other things with Pete such as where things are for baby and I after the birth.  I think that after that evening the imminent birth has become all the more real for both of us - Pete certainly felt so!

It was definitely worth having a practice run with the pool.  We now know for sure that it will fit in the living room.  I discussed with Pete about putting down plastic floor covers (some came with the pool but I also have extra in the form of builders plastic sheeting and a cheap shower curtain) and putting old towels on top to prevent slipping and absorb any water/splashes.  Hopefully on the day/night I'll still be compos-mentis enough to help guide Pete with what to do and what I want but it doesn't hurt to be organised.  It helps him if he knows what I'm planning as well, otherwise if feels like "my birth" and not "our birth".

It doesn't take too long to inflate the pool, not long at all.  Maybe 15 minutes with the pump it comes with.  Something we found a bit tricky was the order in which to inflate the different areas of the pool (floor, seat, sides).  The instructions in the booklet could have been clearer we feel and to be honest, the photographs provided weren't that helpful or clear.  We did figure it out in the end but we are very relived we've done a test run so we know exactly what to do on the day.  If we hadn't, it would've caused extra stress I'm sure.  I might not be in a position to help on the day so it's all on Pete!

We think the pool looks fantastic though.  It's a good size for me.  I'm not tall.  I think if you were taller or wanted someone else in with you, it'd be a good idea to go for the larger sized pool on offer (we have the mini birthpool in a box).  I think Pete could get in at a push if I really wanted him in there.

As it is, it's a good size for me to move around in.  The seat is really comfy and there are plenty of handles in different positions around the pool to aid active labour.  There is also a drink cup holder which is VERY handy.  You can get really dehydrated in labour and even more so during a water birth so it's essential to have a drink (with a straw) to hand!

Deflating the pool was straightforward with the pump.  We're very happy with the pool and excited about using it for real!

I've been busy ticking more things off my to-do list this week.  Ethan and I have handmade Fathers Day presents for Pete and my Dad.  I won't say what yet in case Pete reads!  I'm going to organise cards tonight. Then I'll wrap the presents up.  Fathers Day isn't until June but I know I'll have my hands full then.  I don't want to be all excuses and forget Pete and my Dad though.  Pete has been supportive throughout the pregnancy and I know he'll be great in labour.  My Dad is also a huge support and I know my parents will be on hand to help us post birth so I don't want him forgotten either.

My parents dropped round the moses basket this week after storing it for us and I got the base constructed today so I feel happy in the knowledge we are about as ready as can be for this new little man!

Hormones have been a bit crazy this week.  I think the fact that the birth is so close is making me a bit antsy..  I managed to go a loopy and storm out on Pete at Tesco's this week.. embarrassing   I'm still being plagued by morning sickness as well.  Not every day, but it's still there a few times a week.  This Tuesday we were running late getting Ethan to preschool..  We were in the garage nearly ready to leave, Ethan on his scooter raring to go when I just knew I was going to be sick.  I'd already locked the door to the house so I had no choice but to try to vomit into my hands.. that wasn't enough though, so in the end I vomited onto the (concrete) garage floor.  It could've been worse I suppose, at least I could wipe it up easily enough.  The worst bit was Ethan standing there staring at me saying over and over "That's disgusting Mummy, really YUCKY!".  Yes.. I know!  The worst bit was when I realised (after dropping Ethan at school) that I had a lovely splat of sick on my boot.  So lovely.  Yes, this is a style blog which involves vomit on boots.

Will I have a 39 week update for you? Watch this space.  If things go quiet, you'll know why!  You can always follow me on Instagram (@Medicated_Follower) because if there are pics of a new baby I should think they'll be on there first!

**Our birthing pool has been provided by The Good Birth Company**

37 week ponderings - homebirth plans, cloth nappies, nesting...

On Sunday (or today) depending on who's dates you go with (mine or the dating scan) I reach 37 weeks pregnant.  It's quite a big deal, reaching 37 weeks, I think.

As I'm planning a home birth, this means I can now happily labour at home (as long as there are no complications), even if I'm not 40 weeks.  Yippee!  There is a good chance I will get to use our birthing pool.  It's something I've worried about, after all this planning.  I really want to give home birth a go.  Even if things don't pan out, it'd be nice to think labour started at home, that I gave it my best shot.  Obviously, thinking positively  I hope that the whole birth will occur at home!

So.  What's going through my head at 37 weeks pregnant?  Well, quite a lot actually.  Though many pregnant women are worn out and suffering with "baby brain" causing them to forget things ALL THE TIME, we actually have quite full and active brains.  I think it's because they are so full of thoughts/plans that we forget silly stuff.  You know, like taking your son out in the car to ride his scooter up at the local sea front but leaving the scooter at home, right on the drive way, practically with a sign on it saying "please steal me and sell me on eBay!".  I'll give you a glimpse into my head right now:

I must plan ALL THE THINGS! 

I'm obsessed with being organised and prepared for things at the best of times.  As I reach the end of this pregnancy, I've gone beyond nesting.  I've decided that as baby is due in May and Fathers Day is in June, it'd be a great idea to buy/make presents for hubby and Granddad now.  Not only buy them, but wrap them up.  And make cards as well.  This is well and good, but the chances are that I'll probably have forgotten where I've put them by the time Fathers Day actually rolls round.  Or be too sleep deprived to remember on which day it falls.  Never the less, I am steaming ahead with this plan.  The power of hormones compel me!

Real/Cloth nappies

I used Naty nappies with Ethan - disposable but better than your average disposables.  I've planned throughout this pregnancy to do the same this time.  After all, I'm not planning to have a 3rd child so really it'd be silly to invest in cloth nappies now... and yet, at 37 weeks pregnant, when I could pop at any moment and should not be worrying but trying to rest all I can, I find myself trawling the internet and eBay looking at cloth nappies and thinking.. just thinking... it'd be so nice to use cloth!!  I'm mad to be thinking this now, surely?  One of the reasons I've steered clear of cloth, despite preferring to be green and loving everything about them from their ethos to the way they look, is that I know how easily stressed I am and that I am not someone who needs extra hassle when a baby comes along.  Like many things baby though, I'm not finding it easy to be logical about this.  Deep down I know I would love to use cloth.  I'm scared to though.  I have no idea where to start, I'm worrying about taking something on that I can't handle and I'm not sure where I'd come up with the money to buy what I need upfront.  I just don't know if it's practical for me.. all the same, I love the idea of them!

Baby position

Prior to my check up with the midwife this week (or middle-wife as Ethan calls her) I was seriously concerned about the position of baby.  Due to some big movements the week before and where I was feeling hiccups, I was convinced that he was breech.  I spent the whole week stressing over this.  Any spare time I had was spent hanging upside down from the sofa, on the birthing ball or on my hands and knees (and no, not in a sexy way!).

Here's an attractive photo for me to share with the world!

I didn't feel him move positions so was petrified on Thursday when I had my appointment.  I know people (locally) who's babies have been breech at 36 weeks and they were all sent into hospital to have the baby manually moved and if that didn't work, booked in for a c-section at 38 weeks.  So NOT what I want.  I pretty much had a panic attack in the waiting room this week.. it didn't help that my midwife was (as usual) running half an hour late.  Turns out I was worrying over nothing, that actually he is in an OK position.  Not perfect (he's lying to the side a bit) but he is still head down.  No engaged, but that's not something to worry about.  I never realised second babies don't generally engage until labour! Interesting!

Presents for my son

I've always liked the idea of giving your first born a present when the new baby arrives.  After all, they've been your one and only for however long (in Ethan's case, nearly 4 years) so it's likely that even if they are excited about the new baby and being a big brother/sister they are also likely to feel a bit usurped and left out.  The idea of a present "from" the baby to your first child is a simple one.  Something to remind them they aren't forgotten.  I like the idea of it being "from the baby" as well - I like to think it'll be an encouraging start to a lifelong bond.  I've bought a few things "from the baby" for Ethan.  I've tried not to go overboard.  I've got him a "Big Brother" t shirt (the baby has a Little Brother one).  I also picked up a couple of Dr Seuss books in the charity shop, a card game and I've ordered one of those huge lego head storage boxes for Ethan's lego.  Quite a nice selection I think!

Have I got everything for labour?

Planning a home birth means you have to go to a bit more trouble than if you're planning to go into hospital.  At first you think "I'm labouring at home! I won't need to do anything to prepare!" but that's just not the case.  First of all, I've packed a hospital bag anyway, because things might not go to plan..  Right there, that's all I did last time.  On top of that I've had to get everything I can think of to cover labouring at home.  The Good Birth Company have provided a birthing pool and they have a great selection of kits which you can buy alongside their pools (kits include a sieve, a thermometer  a pool liner, a pool lid, a pump to blow up and deflate the pool, a pump to remove the water afterwards, a hosepipe and tap attachments and other items) but I've still had to buy/gather up more items.

Just some of the stuff I've been collecting up..

I've collected a whole heap of old towels.  I've got plastic sheeting from a DIY store, a cheap shower curtain and oilcloth material.  All will be used to protect surfaces such as the carpet and sofa.  I've got a waterproof mattress protector on our bed alongside an old towel and a disposable bed wetting pad.  These are in case my waters go in bed or in case I decide I want to labour in our bed.  I've also got a dark blue fitted sheet on the bed because it'll be more forgiving if I stain it.  I've bought a cheap handheld mirror to help us see what's going on during labour.  I've bought masses of supplies such as energy drinks and snacks.  I've got my TENs machine from last time but I've had to buy new electrode pads.  The birthing ball is ready and set up.  I've got the potty down from it's hiding place (it's been hidden away after Ethan started using the loo) in case I need a poo/wee during labour and don't want to leave the pool.  I've got oodles of maternity pads and cheap black pants from Primark.  I'm sure there's even more that I can't remember just now!  Planning a home birth is definitely more involved!!  Even the birth plan took me longer...

I must clean the top of the wardrobe and sell those clothes at don't fit on eBay...

I can't seem to stop dying baby clothes or faffing around in baby's room!

Crazy nesting.  If you've ever been pregnant you'll know what I mean.  Nesting really does make us do strange things that people in our delicate (heavy) tired state should NOT be undertaking.  I remember some classics from last time such as cleaning out and bleaching our freezer, reorganising it and labelling the draws.  I also remember listing a whole heap of things on eBay when I was not only due to pop but overdue.  You can guess the outcome.  I ended up having to make trips to the Post Office to post items that sold when I had a tiny days old baby.  Stupid.  So stupid.  That's one mistake I won't be making this time.  But you can be sure I'll still be staying up until 2am tweaking the décor in the baby's room or steam cleaning the oven.

Style

Trying to look my best... feeling rubbish!

I'm mostly a style/fashion blogger but even my style is struggling to keep up with the body of a heavily pregnant women.  I just don't have the budget to buy heaps of maternity wear and I'm so far along now that it'd be pointless to buy any more.  I just have to struggle along wearing a tiny selection of clothes and trying to keep feeling "stylish" and "like myself" but it's getting harder by the day.  For one thing, I have to wear compression tights every day because I don't want to aggravate the varicose vein that has appeared on my leg.  Because I'm wearing these tights every day, they are taking a lot of punishment   I've now had to sew them up three times and paint the ladders in with clear nail varnish.  Whilst they are holding together and just about doing their job, they are NOT looking stylish.  Not at all.  They are unsightly so I'm forced to wear other tights/leggings or jeans over them..  It'd better not get too hot before this baby comes out!  I am NOT feeling stylish.. and that is why you are not seeing many style posts from me at the moment!! At least, women's style.  Thankfully I can still go on about children's fashion!

There are so many more things I could blab on about tonight . but this has been a massive blog post and in all honesty, I want to eat some ice cream now.. so I'm going to sign off!!

Planning my Home Birth - 34 weeks

Readers, things are starting to get real.  I am heading very quickly to 35 weeks.  Even if I go overdue to 42 weeks like last time, we are in single figure weeks now.  Yikes.

I'd like to say it's gone quickly.  In some ways it has, I suppose.  Quicker than last time because I'm inevitably more busy with Ethan to look after, even though he is at preschool, when he's there I'm doing the housework or blogging.  No maternity leave like last time.  I was damn lucky last time.  I had a load of holiday saved up so I finished working at around 31 weeks.  I had 5 days of the week to myself.  Even I can't make house work that long so I could potter around as I pleased.  If it was hot I spent the afternoon lounging around in a bikini in a paddling pool in the back garden (like a beached whale).  I had a two hour nap most afternoons.  I had the energy to take myself into Bristol to potter about the shops and buy baby clothes in TKMaxx and bulk buy Natty nappies in Boots... and I had the energy to carry it all home!  It's completely different this time around.  I've found this pregnancy so much harder physically.  I've reached the stage now where I can pretty much manage walking Ethan to and from preschool.  That's about it.  If I do that I can't really do any proper house work.  Not without paying for it in pain and stiff joints later in the day.

So, yes, things are getting real now and I need to start writing my birth plan and really getting things sorted for the home birth I'm planning.  Have I mentioned that before?  I think I may have in passing.  Yes, this time around I'm planning a home birth.  It's always appealed to me but when I was pregnant with Ethan I didn't have the confidence to go for it.  My experiences in labour with him, whilst not terrible, were not what I really wanted, so this time I'm trying to keep all the control I can.  Of course I realise that things may not go to plan and I may still end up with a hospital birth but if I can at least feel like I've done everything I can to get the birth I want then I'll be happy.

My experience with home birth has been mixed so far.  Way back when I had my booking in appointment with my midwife (I think I was around 10 weeks pregnant then) they were happy for me to plan a home birth.  The second time I went along, around 16 weeks I think, I was told that it was unrealistic, that there aren't enough staff and that the likelihood is that I'd end up birthing alone.  That meeting upset me greatly.  You can read about that here.  After that meeting, I started backtracking and planning a birth in a local birthing centre which opened in January.. I was getting myself all geared up for that when I went back for my next midwife appointment where I was then told that actually, I should try to go for a home birth seeing as I'm passionate about it!!  I couldn't have been more thrown.  Ever since then I've been planning the home birth, reading up about it, reading other peoples experiences.  I also know someone who's managed to have a successful home birth, one of my oldest and closest friends gave birth to her first daughter at home this February in London.  Knowing that she managed it has inspired me, so I intend to carry on making my plans :)

What am I actually doing to get ready then?  Well, of course, there are some practical implications.  I want a water birth so I've had to organise a birthing pool.  Some parts of the UK offer birthing pools for home births but North Somerset isn't one of those.  Birth pools are likely to cost around £100-150 to buy depending what type you buy and what extras you add.  You can hire them.  I've been very lucky and I'm going to be provided with one by a lovely company called The Good Birth Company.  They are providing me with a mini birthing pool in a box.  I've opted for the mini because I'm only about 5'2' if that and I want to make sure there's plenty of room around the pool for the midwife and Pete.

Image source: The Good Birth Company

Because I'm opting for a water birth, there are a few extra things to think about, such as making sure we have a way to fill the pool - luckily The Good Birth Company provide a hose in their basic extras kit which we can attach to our tap - hopefully the one in the kitchen.  I've invested in some plastic sheeting to place on the carpet under the pool just in case.  I will also be putting some spare oil cloth table cloth material I have on one of our sofas for me and baby to relax on after birth.  I'll be covering this with some old towels so it's comfy to sit on.  This is just really to save the sofa from blood leakage.  Hopefully I won't bleed too much but I remember in hospital last time bleeding through onto the bed sheets when I was in overnight, so it's better to be safe than sorry!!

In my bed I'm going to put some of those bed wetting sheets you can buy under my bedsheet - I'm going to do this in a few weeks just in case my waters break in bed.  I want to protect the mattress!  I'm also going to replace the fitted sheet with a dark coloured one I have once labour starts and will place an old towel in the bed to lie on when I do go to bed.

I intend to just wear a bikini top to labour in, maybe with a baggy t shirt when I'm not in the pool.  Last time I wore a cheap nightie which was fine.

I've bought myself some arnica tablets to take after the birth - I did this last time and I healed quite quickly.  Anything that might help!! I've also bought some raspberry leaf tea capsules.  I drank the tea last time in the last few weeks of labour but I HATED the stuff.  I am someone who drinks herbal tea on a daily basis so this is saying something!  I think it's because it's mixed with apple, I hate apple!! I'm more of a lemon and ginger girl.. So, this time, I've gone for the capsules.  I'm taking one a day now (just started) and will up it each week, so at 35 weeks I'll take 2 a day.  You can take up to 6 a day.  I'm not sure I'll go that far, but I'll certainly up it to 3 or 4 a day.  Raspberry Leaf extract is supposed to help tone the uterus which can help you have a quicker 2nd stage labour.  Now, I had to be induced last time, so I'm not sure if the tea I was drinking made much difference or not, but because I hated it, I only managed one cup per day, if that.  Some days I couldn't hack it at all.  I have no problem swallowing capsules!

For the birth, I intend to use my TENS machine as soon as contractions start - you don't really want to be getting in the pool before about 4-5 cms dilated.  My TENS worked well for me last time.  That reminds me, I need to buy some new pads for it so I can attach it!  I'm also planning to get into my bath at home whenever I feel it will help.  I want to avoid pain relief as much as possible - I didn't get gas and air last time, for some reason the midwife wouldn't let me have it!  I had pethidine right towards the end of my labour.  I'd managed nearly 30 hours with nothing but TENS and at that point they thought I'd labour for another 7 hours so I had the pethidine but Ethan was then born less than an hour later and we were both completely drugged up.  It wasn't a great start.

I plan to have some candles lit in the room for the birth - I'm going to use the living room.  I can have music on if I want.  I've not made a playlist because in all honesty, I'm not sure what I'll fancy listening to, I'm going to play it by ear (oh, haha!).

After discussion, we think it'll be best if Ethan isn't home for the birth.  Despite him knowing all about how babies come out, he's a sensitive little soul and I don't think it'll be helpful for him to see me in pain, or bleeding.  I didn't make any noise in labour with him, but I can't guarantee it'll be the same again this time.  I just think for him, it'll be best if he's somewhere else.  My parents are going to take him.  I'm just not sure exactly at what point!  Again, I plan to play it by ear.

This is my list of what I'm getting in ready for the birth/post birth:

Birthing pool & extras (hosepipe, tap connectors, thermometer, pump to remove water etc..)

Old towels - as many as I can get together

Plastic sheeting - for the floor

Oil cloth material - for the sofa

Maternity pads - for bleeding after the birth

Arnica - for after the birth

Lavender oil - to use in the bath after birth to help healing

Bikini top & t shirt/nightie - to labour in

TENS machine & new pads - for early labour

Snacks (chocolate, bananas, oat bars etc)

Water bottle & straw - makes drinking easier during labour

Blanket for me and baby post birth

Protective pads - for my bed in case of waters breaking and blood loss after labour

Dark coloured fitted sheet - for bed after labour

First set of clothes for baby

Camera - with battery charged!

That's my list at the moment - I'm sure there will be more things I'll think of!

Something else worth mentioning.  I plan to deliver the placenta naturally and to leave the cord attached for at least an hour post birth so that baby gets the best start he can.  If I can, I also hope to do what is known as the "breast crawl" in the hopes to establishing a good first feed.

Have you had a home birth?  Are you planning one?  I'd be really interested in hearing the views of others who've planned/succeeded in a home birth.

This post is linked up with Mums Make Lists for The Friday Baby Shower.