Monday 29 August 2011

Impossible perfection...

Well, I've just finished reading Lise's most recent blog post about smugness and felt compelled to comment! I've been thinking about blogging on a similar subject myself, except with a slightly different angle.

You see, many people assume I am the perfect mummy/wife with the perfect house and life. But I'm not, I swear to you, I am not!! Appearances can be deceiving.. I know when I leave the house with Ethan I am generally well groomed with make up on, a fairly cohesive outfit (mainly because I love clothes though!) with Ethan looking pretty smart for a littlely. Our buggy is kept looking pretty good because I work feckin' hard scrubbing away at it!! We have funky accessories for it (thank you Elodie Details and Chunkle Munkle!). I usually have a heap of snacks with me (and yes, they are fruit and organic type things normally, lol!! But that's due to the fact Ethan won't eat other stuff!!) If we're going to be out for a while I normally have a packed lunch for him as well... in fact I often make this for him the night before if I'm organised enough.. However, these are just how things appear when we are out of the house!! I'll let you into a secret. In my case, to appear as "perfect mummy" we never get anywhere on time, or at best we scrape in somewhere cutting it fine. I truly believe it is impossible to be perfect. You might manage to have a tidy house, full fridge, bake cakes and feed your child hand picked organic apples but something has to give! It's all about deception. That mum you see in the street with lovely hair and make up and a chilled out child in her clean buggy? I bet you anything she has hairy legs. The "Monica" mum who's house is immaculate? I bet her child is too scared to play let alone make a mess, that's why everything looks so tidy!

We are all flawed in one way or another. If you are anything like me, you constantly check yourself against other people and come away feeling you are not up to scratch. But let me promise you, you may think no one looks at you and does that, but I bet they do!! Lise, in your case, maybe you do have an untidier house than me and go out without make up on. But I bet you're a more fun and relaxed mummy than me! And you don't even need make up due to your natural beauty. And I happen to love your hair!

I'm going to hold my hands up and admit what I am. I am "a Monica". We had some guests over recently. When they arrived one of them said "your house is immaculate! Are you sure you have a toddler?" My pathetic heart swelled. Later, during our meal, we got onto the subject of house work and tidiness and Pete was regaling our guests with stories about how he does something (i.e. wipe down the shower) and I then go and do it again straight after him because it is not up to my high standards. Our guests then began to shift uncomfortably in their chairs.. and I quote "I'm just looking around for crumbs now, I'm scared I've made a mess eating!". Eeek thinks I.. In my quest for the perfect home all I've succeeded in doing is making people feel uncomfortable..

I'm reminded of an incident about 20 months ago when I had my antenatal group and their babies over for coffee and cake. The kids were still just milk fed at that time and pooping regulary. One of the little girls needed a nappy change so my friend popped her on a change mat on my living room carpet. Fine.. I'm FINE with that, honestly! (nah, I am! I may be hung up on things but I'm not that paranoid!). So, baby on change mat, dirty nappy off, naked bum waggling in the air.. oh wait?! What's that? A stream of vomit flavoured korma coloured baby poop. And yes, it's done that amazing trick of passing the mat by and landing ALL OVER MY FRIGGIN' CARPET. My friend was mortified. They all know what I'm like about my house. She's apologising to the dozen. Before she's even grabbed her wet wipes I'm standing over her with two bowls of water, one soapy and warm, one cold, three clothes, a towel, a sponge and a bottle of 1001 stain remover, budging her out the way. Yes, that's right. I would gladly touch another child's stinking poop due to how up tight I am. I am the proverbial control freak.

My message is this, really; Yes, there many smug and perfect looking people out there, no doubt. And in fact, perhaps some of them truly are close to perfection (but they probably have loads of money, a nanny and a masseuse). But I assure you, in many cases, scratch beneath the surface and they are probably a bigger nervous wreck, more stressed and less fun to be around than most!

I say if you can be easy going about these things, you should be, and be proud. The rest of us are probably just flogging our guts out to reach an early grave!

Oh, and by the way, to make you feel even better I totally failed at pancake making this morning, served up 'splodge' as my husband called it for breakfast and then made him drive me to Starbucks at a service station so I could get a Mocha Frapachino to make me feel better.

We all fail at times :)


  1. Oh dear. It had never even occurred to me that one could clean a buggy (unless you count the time we spent 3 days driving Rory's through a bog at a festival and had to prise the mud off it with sticks for days afterwards) and I didn't even know that there was such a thing as buggy accessories. I really am a hopeless case. Don't try to defend me! ;-) xxxx

  2. You're just different to me! I'm too hung up on appearances!! And I'm obsessed (and I mean obsessed with accesorise.. if I can, I will!)

    I'm going to add a post on buggy maintenance and accesorising to my list of things to blog about!


  3. Yes, educate me please! We're just at polar opposites of the spectrum aren't we? And as our irritating little friends on 3rd and Bird say: "different is good, oh yeah."

  4. LOL.... yup!! The funny thing is that there are similarities between us as well, I remember thinking that a lot when we were pregnant.. Some of my closest friends are completely different to me tidiness wise, I have no problem with other people's mess at all, it's just my own place that has to be in order!!

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