Sunday, 27 November 2011

Awkward moments and other embarrassing things...

I'm the kind of person who regularly experiences awkward moments and embarrassing situations. I suppose many of us are. I have no doubt that becoming a parent increases the regularity of these occasions..

Children are so honest, aren't they? As we grow up, we (generally!) learn to be polite and to save peoples feelings. Children, they just tell it as it is. Take, for example, a recent visit to a friends house. We'd popped in for a quick visit so she and I could have a natter and Ethan and her little boy could play (I mean wrestle, throw toys and force feed each other apple slices). My friend took us into her son's bedroom as they'd recently finished decorating and all of his toys were now stored in there. As we walked in, Ethan looked around and said "Lovely! Lovely room. Very nice! Nice door, nice sofa". Awww, I was so proud! My friend was suitably chuffed. It was indeed very lovely. I was very proud at Ethan being a) adorable and b) applying his language so well!

So, the boys had a play in there and we had a good chatter... it was all going so well. Until they wanted a snack of sliced apple. Off we all trooped to the kitchen.. This is where it all went a bit wrong. We get there and Ethan takes a good look around and then goes right up to my friend and says (very loudly) "Messy! Very messy kitchen!". Ugh.. So embarrassing!!! It's my fault really. Her kitchen is nothing more than a normal kitchen for someone who's been at home with an extremely active toddler all day. The trouble is that Ethan lives with me, OCD Tidy Freak Mum. I apologised for his honestly, explained that he was going through a "very honest phase". What else can you do? She didn't mind thankfully!!! This is a child who walked into our kitchen the other day as I was washing up and saw a peice of cheese on the breadboard that was hardly visible, picked it up and said "ugh, yuck! Dirty!" and put it in the bin. Save me now...

Still, though Ethan may be a little too honest at times (really, I'm sure my fellow shoppers in Tesco do not need to know that "Mummy's pee-pee is hairy!" or that "I have a purple dinkle!") I feel that he is at least learning how to behave and what is right and wrong. He is a toddler and is allowed to make mistakes... I'm not sure the same could be said for some of the strange things we see adults in our town doing out and about in public!

Take for example this recent lovely experience! Ethan and I were on our way back from the leisure centre. This walk takes us along one of the main roads in Clevedon (and it is a very big main road with a lot of traffic and pedestrians - in other words it is very well used!). As I was pushing the buggy we were overtaken by a middle-aged lady dressed in fluorescent pink (so highly visible!!) who was jogging. Nothing outrageous there. Until she stopped a little way in front of us... At first I could not believe my eyes. She had stopped and what was that I could see? Surely not?! I had to blink a few times (wearing contact lenses, needed to make sure my vision wasn't blurring!). No, I wasn't seeing things. IT WAS HER ASS!!! She had stopped on the grass verge, had pulled down her trousers and knickers and was taking (I hope!) a wee in public. Broad daylight. Midday. Not in the depth of the night on the way home from a pub hidden from view. She was 100% visible. I only hope it was a wee and not a poo... God knows I didn't look close enough to check for brown lumps. All I know is I got a bloody good look at her butt (not that I wanted to!). The bit that totally astounded me was that whilst we were passing I noticed her checking her sports watch, presumably checking her running times WHILST HER PANTS AND TROUSERS WERE STILL DOWN AROUND HER ANKLES!! I just couldn't believe it! Am I a prude? Is it now totally acceptable for a lady to pee in public? I know it's just a bum and a fanny, but all joking aside, it's just not appropriate is it?

I do realise there could be some mental illnesses that might lead someone to do this, or not to realise that this was not appropriate but this lady looked like she was in control of herself to me... Who knows I suppose!! Perhaps she is an exhibitionist?! She was literally 30 seconds from a pub which at midday would have been open and which I know has loos. She was also about 2 mins (running time) from a supermarket which also has loos.

I really truly could not believe I'd seen it! What do you think? Perhaps after the Paula Radcliffe wee-ing during a marathon thing it's now normal practice? I highly doubt this lady was on a solo marathon though.. and I still think she could have dashed into the pub or at least the underpass which was also right next to her!!

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