Thursday 30 January 2014

Trendy Thursday - HE not SHE!

I'm not sure just how many times I'm going to have to write on this subject.. but it seems to be a recurring theme.  My baby is a boy.  Why do so many people assume he's a girl?  Yes, I do dress him in all colours.  Yes, he does have a necklace (amber teething necklace).  Why do people make an assumption?  I suppose we all do it.  The way the human brain is wired, we are designed to find patterns, to group things together, to define things, to make sense of things.  I never assume a child's gender though.  I won't say "How old is he?" "What's her name?" unless I know for sure the child is a boy or a girl (i.e. I heard the parent refer to the child as a s/he).

Normally, I don't mind correcting people.  I'll just say "Oh, he's 8 months old" or "His name is Felix" and that's that.  However, it's Wednesday, and so far this week I have had to correct six or more people this week.  Three people just today!  For the first time, it's starting to annoy me!  I don't want to conform to societies narrow-minded assumptions of what a child should be dressed in.  If my boy wants long hair, he can have long hair.  If I want to put him in pink/purple/red or whatever the hell else is deemed a "girly" colour, I will (as long as he is happy and comfortable in what he is wearing!).

I know no one makes these assumptions to upset me.  I know it's not harmless.  Most of the time it washes over me, but today, it's just got to me a bit.  I can't be the only one who likes to dress their child slightly "differently?".

Well, this is what the boys have been rocking this week:

Leopard print leggings - H&M
Moccasins - Ulla + Viggo
'Chess' top - Katvig
Blue stripe leggings - Polarn O Pyret
Rainbow chevron legwarmers - Tiny Nippers
Hat - Asda
Waistcoat - J by Jasper Conran
Star top - Boys & Girls Shop
Leggings - H&M
Ice Cream Moccasins - Moccis
Stripy romper - GAP
Circus vest - H&M

I love Converse for Ethan (and I'm looking forward to Felix being able to wear them!) and I'm always looking for ways to make his look extra cool.  We're fans of Shwings in our house - we started off with wings, then moustaches and now one pair are sporting flames!  I've funked them up even further with new laces:

Right - enough ranting from me - what have your children been wearing? Link up below, comment and visit others!


  1. Hi Alex, despite all the pink my girls wear, bows in hair & pink pram, I still got oooohhh "what a cute little boy", "what's his name?" Etc. For the record Felix doesn't look girly at all and you dress him in lots of bright bold, colours and patterns not pink & lilac dresses. Try not to let it worry you too much. Check out this post I wrote ages ago it might make you smile xx

  2. Grrr! I had this with my eldest, despite the fact that he didn't dress differently - he was always dressed in very ordinary boys' clothes. He just had long hair. I loved his long hair, but got it cut just before he started school as I didn't want it to be an issue as he got older and something which could upset him. As it happens, he grew his hair again in year 5/6 and even at age 11 was mistaken for a girl! He's cut it again now!

    1. People just see one thing I think sometimes, and make a snap judgement. When I was 15, I had short hair, similar to my current hairstyle. I was in a shop wearing a top and skirt and I overheard a shop assistant saying to a man "Yes, they are just over there, by that man" pointing at me. As I said, I was wearing a skirt. And I had boobs. BIG boobs. At 15, as they are now, they were a 32F so not exctly small. It did wonders for my self confidence ;-D

  3. The amount of times i've had people say my Hugo is a girl! ... ok he has long curly hair & i like to put him in tights,... but he is most definitely a boy. :) Love love love the way you dress your BOYS! :) xxx

    1. Thanks Bex!

      It's so annoying, isn't it! We must just let it wash over us... x

  4. I think people just don't think. I wrote a post a while ago about people making comments without thinking - think pregnant, non-pregnant women, and then the gender with children thing. N used to look typically like a boy, in generally very 'boyish' colour and style clothes, and would still get asked if 'she was a good baby'. People would then admit to me they just comment and don't think. I'm the same as you, would never refer to a she/he unless it was very obvious and if at all unsure I'd just refer to 'your child' or another neutral term.

    Wouldn't worry- it's their ignorance, plus I think Felix's face is very boyish. And they both look fab in their bright colours.

  5. Thanks for hosting the linky!

    I get this a lot with people thinking that Elsa is a boy. Particularly if I've dressed her in blue. Obviously only boys can wear blue! But is has happened when she has been dressed head to toe pink and could not look more girly. I just correct people and leave them to squirm! xxx

    1. People are SO silly! My friend's daughter is mistaken for a boy all the time because she has short hair (she's about 20 months old) and it drives her mad. xx


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