Going under the knife

Plastic surgery.  Unless it's medically required or for very good reasons, it's not really something I am a fan of.  I know I'm not that old yet but I do feel that I'd like to 'grow old gracefully' wrinkles and all.  I have no desire to have my face scrapped up from the floor and pinned behind my ears.  I don't want some crazy scary face peel..

However, there is one thing that I would consider doing.  I have big boobs for my frame.  OK, they aren't crazy, but they are problematic.  Ever since they started growing when I was 10 they have caused me problems.  They were always big for my age and size.  They got me attention I didn't want and couldn't handle at a young age.  At the age of 12 they were a D cup and I had cars beeping their horns at me, men shouting comments across the road.  I don't think they could tell how young I was.  I did what most young girls would do - I tried to cover up so it was all baggy jumpers and shirts for a few years.  That didn't really help my confidence though.  They made me look much bigger than I was and I felt like a huge heifer compared to my skinny friends with their A and B cup breasts and slim frames.

School was no fun.  As the first girl in the class with a bra, boys found it hilarious to try to undo my bra during lessons or trying to ping the bra straps.  Aged 13 I was told by one of the boys in my tutor group that the boys had all discussed during PE one day who they like to think about when masturbating and they almost all agreed on me because "you have huge tits".  I didn't really know what to think about that.  I suppose I took it as a compliment in some respect but the feminist in me is outraged.  Can you imagine a girl saying something like that to a boy?  My breasts were just objects to them.  I wasn't important.  I was just tits on legs.  Something to objectify.

By 15 I had EE cup breasts and had come to terms with them a little.  I had realised that the baggy clothes were doing me no favours so I dressed to compliment my figure.  This brought with it other issues though.  I always looked like I was trying to attract attention and look sexy which I truly wasn't.  Wearing a shirt at school was a huge problem, they always gapped at the button holes.  Whilst on a holiday with my family in Portugal the attention I received was ridicules and embarrassing as I was with my family.  I was truly something to stare at over there as a blonde girl with large breasts.  Men waved at me constantly, came over to me in the street to speak to me whilst I was with my parents.  One man tripped over at the beach because he was so busy staring at my chest.   Worse still (though quite amusing) I was stood outside a supermarket with my brother whilst my parents shopped inside.  A delivery driver was driving along the road near to us and he was so distracted by staring at my chest that he actually didn't see a turn in the road and drove his lorry into a wall.  I kid not.

Attention is not the only problem when you have large breasts.  Buying bras and swimwear to fit them is a costly and difficult experience.  These days it is a lot easier.  Even Asda and Tesco stock bras in my size, and whilst not quite as good as more expensive bras, they are pretty darn good.  As a teen it was impossible to buy anything that fitted me properly.  Eventually I was able to order items in my size in a local department store.

Life changed when I discovered Bravissimo.  It is lovely to be able to buy in my size in lots of different styles and patterns.  However, it is still costly.  If I want decent swimwear that will support me I have to fork out around £60.

So.  Why would I consider going under the knife?  I am no longer objectified in quite the way I was (or at least, if I am, I am not told so!!).  Perhaps pushing a buggy around has helped that.. I'm probably too busy to notice anyway!  I have my pick of the bras these days.  Even the cost isn't as bad as it was?

Well... there are two reasons I would consider it.. and don't worry, I'm not about to say I'd go bigger.  No.  No way in hell!  The surgery I would seriously consider, no truly, would like, would be a breast reduction.  First of all, I get back ache.  Carrying around these boobs is hard work.  Even if I loose weight I have never lost weight on my breasts.  Pregnancy took me in to H cups and breastfeeding in to J cups.  Luckily both times my breasts have gone back to my pre-pregnancy size.  During my adult life I have weighed from 10st 2lb to 8st 5lb and my breasts have remained resolutely a 30-32F.

Secondly.  The fit of my clothes.  You could consider it a small thing, but really, it's something I am faced with every single day.  I always feel I look bigger than I am.  Unless I am wearing a top that is tight then what I am wearing skims down from my boobs and hangs out making me look like I have a tum when I don't.

I would like a nice pair of D cups.  I don't want tiny boobs.  I'd just like to took in proportion.

What is putting me off?  Cost.  I can't afford it.  I could possibly save up.. Perhaps I will!  Also, recovery time.  I know that it takes around 6 weeks before you can lift and right now, there's no way I could look after my children..  So.  It has to wait.  But maybe, just maybe, one day I will have the boobs I'd like!

Is there a plastic surgery you'd consider?  If so, why?

Sleeping in style - obsessed with bedding

If I ever want to freshen up one of our bedrooms, I start with a new duvet set.  I am rather addicted to them.  Luckily we have a large airing cupboard and under-bed storage so I am able to store quite a few.  We probably have too many, but at least we have plenty of bedding available for guests or when the children are sick (or have an accident!!).

I love how you can keep your room fashionable with something as simple as changing the bedding.  You can suit the season, your mood and for such a small cost.  What is even more fantastic is that it is so easy to pick up bargain bedding these days.  Whilst I really love buying from smaller independent companies, I am also a bargain hunter.  These days I have to admit that the supermarkets are the places to go for bedding.  In particular, George at Asda are brilliant at staying on trend and affordable.  You can often pick up a new duvet set for around £12.  Fitted sheets come in at around £5 so for less than £20 you can have a completely new set!

I thought I would share my top 5 places to buy bedding and some of my favourite picks from their current collections:

1) George at Asda

George are excellent at staying on trend, their prices are hard to beat and the quality is actually very good:

Bedding from George at Asda

2) Ikea

Ikea bedding makes my palms sweaty.  When I visit Ikea my heart rate increases once we reach the bedroom part of the showroom.  I find it very hard not to buy bedding when I go to Ikea.  Good prices, some are crazy cheap, most are average prices.  The quality is astounding though:

Ikea bedding

3) Wilkinsons

Wilkinsons were a real surprise to me.  I hardly ever go in "bargain" shops like Wilkos, I always think it's a little like a 99p shop.  However, I ended up on their online shop a few months ago and was astounded at the choice. Like Asda, their bedding prices are amazing and very up to date:

Wilko Bedding

4) H&M

I started shopping online with H&M a few years ago when I discovered just how good their children's clothes are.  I love them for me and the boys.  Even hubby relies on them for their underwear!!  Their homewear range is growing all the time and is very stylish.  Their bedding sets are fantastic and often sell out within hours (anyone who knows about their very Mini Rodini style tiger bedding set will know what I mean.  I actually feel like crying when I think about missing out on that..).  Prices are very good and quality is also great:

H&M Bedding

5) Argos

I stopped buying from Argos a while ago feeling they were very old fashioned and out of date.  However, a recent Google for geometric bedding led me back to them and boy do they have a good selection!  Prices range from the very cheap to the much more expensive so there's something for everyone.  I'm impressed!

Argos Bedding

How do you like to brighten up your bedroom?  I hope I've inspired a few people today to try some new bedding out and maybe try somewhere new to buy from! Have fun!!

Trendy Thursday - More bargains!

The last thing I need is more clothing for the boys.. what can I say?  I'm addicted.  Especially if it's a bargain.

It's very hard for me to walk in to a charity shop and not buy something.  When you see items for 99p or less, it's even harder.  Last week I popped in to one of the shops in town and had a nosey at the children's rail.  They had a load of items for 99p and I ended up buying a pair of awesome unworn neon yellow trousers, a Diesel body warmer and a Where The Wild Things Are tshirt.

Charity Shop, eBay and Etsy bargains

I could tell the trousers hadn't been worn as the label was still attached.  The tshirt and the body warmer probably had been but hardly at all.  For so little money, how can you walk away from that?

I got a few more items in the post last week - when do I not?  We love Studio Ghibli in our house.  In particular, we love Spirited Away.  Ethan is quite obsessed with the character No Face from that film.  I found a baby vest on eBay with No Face printed on it.  Not only does it look cool, it fits in with my current love of monochrome.  Felix loves to watch Spirited Away as well and I know he recognises No Face.

I ordered a knitted crown from Etsy.  I've seen them on a few babies and think they look so cute.  With Felix's first birthday just around the corner I thought it was high time we got one.   It's going to look brilliant - I hope he'll keep it on!  He's getting better at wearing (accepting!) hats now.

Anyone else got a bargain this week?  Link up your kids fashion posts below. Don't forget that you can tweet me your links for a retweet.  Please also comment here and visit others who join in!

Describing Anxiety

Mental health.  Little by little it is becoming more acceptable to talk about it.  Good.  That's what we need.  Most of us go about our day to day life wrapped up in whatever we are dealing with and incorrectly believing that we are the only ones who "can't cope".  It's just not true.  If you are ever actually able to have an honest conversation with friends and neighbours you may well find out that it isn't just you.  You aren't alone.  There are SO MANY of us suffering in silence with various mental health issues and we don't need to.

Talking about it really helps.  Finding someone else who understands is amazing.  Sharing those feelings, even though it may not take them away, helps a little.  I know I always feel boosted by a conversation with someone who understands.

I have always been quite honest on my blog.  That's why it's called Medicated Follower of Fashion.  During my life I have suffered with anxiety, depression and Post Natal Depression after the birth of Ethan.  I write about what I have experienced here in the hope that it might help others, that it might encourage them to talk or seek help.  Since sharing my experiences with friends I have discovered that I am by no means the only one taking medication to help.  AND THERE IS NO SHAME IN THIS.

One of the hardest things to deal with is when people don't understand.  This is something you will unfortunately come across.  Some people are just made differently.  They have never had depressive periods, negative thoughts, compulsions, low self esteem.  They just aren't built that way and just can't comprehend it.  It can be really tough when you try to explain how you feel to these people.  It's especially hard when these are people who are close to you.  I have first hand experience of this and I'm afraid my way of coping with this has been to stop fully expressing myself to these people.  Perhaps it's not the right way to go about it, but to be honest, if I'm going through a low anxious stage, I'm not going to help myself by flogging the dead horse that is trying to get across how I feel to those who can't understand.

I cope by reaching out to those that do.  There are many people out there who are a lifeline to me, both online and in "real life".  To those people, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Anyone reading who is suffering and doesn't have that lifeline, I urge you to try to find someone to speak to. It doesn't have to be a face to face conversation, there are so many support networks online.  Even just commenting here.

Overall, the condition I've suffered the longest with is anxiety.  I've had it to different degrees for as long as I can remember, even as a child.  There are various things that exacerbate it; lack of sleep, PMT, not having enough time to myself..

What does anxiety feel like?  Well, I can only describe how I feel it.  To me, it feels a little like hunger.  That gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach. Feeling like you've had too much sugar or caffeine.  A clenched jaw.  Despite medication, it's very rare the feeling ever completely leaves me.  I  worry about anything you can think of and get stressed over things causing me to plan things to a ridiculous degree.  To give you an example, shortly after Ethan was born I drove myself into a severe panic because I was worrying how I would ever find the time to make him a packed lunch whilst he started school.  I was obsessively planning in my head how I'd manage it.  He was days old.

How do I cope?  Well, firstly, I take citalopram.  This does level out my feelings.  Not completely.  I always get worse in the days leading up to my period (I feel very unhinged then) and during really stressful times such as when both of the boys are ill and I'm not sleeping.

I have been on a course with others who suffer similar feelings and have become much better at recognising when I am becoming worse.  When I recognise my feelings are "abnormal" it allows me to be a little more objective.  I listen to the feeling and then tell myself that it isn't true.  It doesn't always work but it helps. I can still feel the anxiety but it's unfounded.  It takes a little of the pressure off.

I try to up my sleep and "me time" when I suffer.  Having a break from the boys is essential for my mental health.  It's a constant balancing act though.

Why am I writing this today?  Well, I'm not particularly suffering today, actually, I'm pretty good at present, but I thought it was worth writing down and sharing.  Just in case it helps someone.

Please, if you are reading this and suffering, comment.  It may help.  Know you are NOT alone.

Trendy Thursday - The Mini Classy

If you are a regular reader and someone who joins in with Trendy Thursday, I'm sure you know just how many fantastic children's clothing brands I discover via Instagram.  You start following one, they share a picture from another, you follow them, they link to another brand.  On and on it goes.  There are so many amazing independent and small businesses out there and Instagram is their playground!

What I tend to do when choosing clothes for my boys now is buy a few gorgeous pieces from these smaller companies and them compliment them with cheaper pieces from places like H&M.  There is no denying that handmade children's clothes or limited edition clothing are more expensive than the mass made items, but they are special.  A lot of hard work has gone into designing and making them.  I like the fact that by buying these clothes you are supporting someone trying to make their mark in a massive industry.  What's in it for you?  Well, if that alone isn't enough for you, it's a simple fact that your child will be wearing something much more unique than most of the other children in your town! I think it teaches them a good lesson too.  Buy clothes that are good quality and well made.  Know where your clothes are made.  Support small companies.  Be individual.

One company I have recently discovered is the American based The Mini Classy who, in their own words, have been "swagging out babies since 2013".  Still a relatively new company they have made a big splash, they have been stocked by Zulily in the US this year;  that's pretty impressive I think.  Their designs are very individual with an emphasis on comfort for children.  Something so important I think.  It's all well and good making your tot the trendiest in town, but you want them to be able to get comfortably around the playground still, not stand around like a trendy shop dummy!  They buy they fabric in small qualities so designs are limited edition which means you bag something really different and unlikely to be seen on many others.  It's also a great marketing idea, let's be honest!!  The clothes are handmade in the US.

I bought a few items for the boys recently after The Mini Classy announced a flash sale via Instagram (a great reason to follow them!).  All in all I spent about $50 including postage for two pairs of harem trousers and a vest top.  That's a bit less than £25 I think so really not bad including the postage.  Their harems are usually $25-30 each so that was a great bargain.

It didn't take long for our items to arrive at all and when they did, I couldn't wait to get them on the boys.  Personally, I think they look amazing.

Ethan wore his vest and harems to a bouncy castle party at the weekend and they stood up to the two hour challenge very well.

Ethan rocking his Mini Classy threads.

Felix has been wearing his around the house, crawling around in them.  They still look great after the repeated rubbing of fabric against the carpet and floor.  No bobbling.  I've washed them and they've come up looking as good as new.  They also dry really quickly!  As they are harems, they have more space for a big nappy in them which is great news for us as cloth users.

So, The Mini Classy, a big thumbs up from the 'follower household.  We'll be back for more!

Does Instagram influence you the way it does me?  I can think of some of my blogging friends who would agree with me I think (Emma from They Grow So Quick I'd say!!).

If you've got some trendy children's outfits to share, link up below.  Don't forget to comment here and visit others who join in!