Friday 13 January 2012

New Years Resolutions - looking back and looking forward..

I know we're a few days into January now, but I've not really felt up to tackling this topic until now... Around this time last year I made resolutions for 2011. They were to learn to crochet and not to buy any clothes for 6 months. I think I totally failed. Not really a surprise. That always seems to be the way resolutions go. I even tried to keep it simple by only having a few (I believe there was also one to loose the Christmas weight, but that wasn't so much a resolution as a requirement and that was one that I managed just fine). I tried really hard with the crochet. I really did!! But I SUCK SO BADLY AT IT! No matter what, every time I tried I found it difficult and almost impossible. I pretty much got nowhere. The only successful thing to come out of that experiment was the Stitch and Bitch group I got started. I think more bitching went on than stitching went on but at least the other attendees actually made something. I think the most personally successful S&B meeting was when I ditched the wool and grabbed my paints and canvas instead. That little number is now hanging up in my brothers flat. Sometimes it can be best to stick to what you know!!

The thing is, I don't really believe that. It is good to push yourself, however hard it is (and I should know... I really should have gone to the gym this morning, I didn't and now I feel bad about that... plus I really shouldn't have had that kitkat chunky. It was soooo good though). Anyway, as I was saying, it's good to push yourself. So.. onto this years resolutions. I'm going to put the crochet on the back burner for now. But I've got all this wool!!! What should I do with it? I've got an idea...

Resolution No 1: KNIT A SCARF.

Just a basic scarf. Nothing fancy. Surly even I can manage this task? There are plenty of people around me who could teach me. I know more people who can knit than crochet. And just a scarf. One bloody scarf. Who knows, if I succeed there will probably be a lot of scarves being given as Christmas presents this year!

So, that's the woolly resolution dealt with. Next up. This one is hard.

Resolution No 2: WORRY LESS.

I know this. You know this. I am a worrier... an anxious and sometimes even nervous wreck! Really and truly there is nothing that worrying in my life, but I find I spend so much of my day being worried. I have an anxious knot in my stomach more often than hunger pangs (but seeing as I ate that kitkat...). No, all joking aside, I don't want to be such an anxious person. It wasn't so bad when I was on my medication for PND. I honestly don't know now if I've always felt this way or if it's worse since having Ethan. Perhaps it's just a natural state for me. I probably could do with some sort of CBT or counselling. I'm not sure if that will happen. For now, I'm just trying to be aware of myself, when I'm feeling wound up or I can feel that anxious knot and trying to rationalise why and do some deep breathing. It's helping a bit so far!

So! Those are my two resolutions for this year. I think they are pretty achievable. I'm not expecting to become someone who never worries, just someone who isn't an anxious wreck all the time! (not that many people would know that, I'm quite good at hiding it!).

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