When I'm out, with friends, family, or at a group, I feel like a fantastic Mum. It's almost like I can see myself through their eyes. I have a whole different perspective on myself and my abilities.
When I'm at home, I feel like a terrible Mum. I feel tense. All I can hear is myself saying "No! Don't do that!" or "Wait a minute, I've just got to hang the washing up". I feel weighed down by responsibility and imposed upon by my child and my house. I feel annoyance and anxiety. I loose all perspective and all sense of self.
When we're out, I'm fun, relaxed and I feel free. So free.
I love being a Mum. I don't want a life where I rush out to a job I hate, having to put Ethan in childcare. I'm happy to call myself a stay at home Mum. I just struggle with the stay at home aspect...